heartwave

to see a frustration bleed into a fury
and tear its way through knuckle and soil –
to bandage its wrists & walk us home stumbling,
my truest heart scared me dumb.

to waltz through this idiot town
shocked to my very essence –
to see my heart
whimper at every blade of grass
that strokes at its heels.

my heart my poor and wailing heart:
this nightmare of ours is relentless,

& waiting for it outside the operating theatre,
i dread no fate

other than
for any soul to ever fall
into the arms of a less worthy heart.

& my heart,

its sparrow hands wrapped tight in cement
we ascend its suffering slopes,
and we all clutch on like infant apes
and we all sink to the bows of the
most disastrous shipwrecks.

my heart my charred and heavy heart:
this nightmare of ours is ours,

& gently lying beside it in the whimpering night,
i feel no grace

its splintered elbows bending crooked
around my sweaty shivering carcass
that had dried and dissolved in the
saddest night of this saddest summer.

to find it aged and woefully murmuring
nonsense into the windowsill of late dawn,
and slink further and further into its shell,

to make love with it like we were
trying to erase the most desperate secrets,

my heart my emblazoned and reckless heart:
won’t you find surrender in my blistered clavicle

& mournfully kissing away the heatwave of our generation
i break away from solace

i break apart
the scornful doubts that envelop me,
the cynical beasts that devour

my heart my unwilling and shuddering heart:
won’t you plummet from your terrifying castle in the clouds
and fall into

my arms my unconditional and hopeless arms:
my lips my quivering and lifeless lips:
my heart my most precious and truest heart:
my heart my courageous and floundering heart:
my heart,
my simplest
and steadiest

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